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" Edinburgh is the most pressurised environment to do comedy. You get an hour. There's no compere. You'd better be on the money straight away; you've got journalists in. "

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" My story is comic because I've spent vast amounts of effort trying to become a Hollywood screenwriter and made no direct effort on making my son a movie actor. "

Dominic Holland

Story

Trying

Hollywood

" It's not cool to be star-struck. "

Dominic Holland

Cool

" I am not a natural show-off. Some of the monster comedians are terrifyingly assured, and I don't have that, and that's held me back. "

Dominic Holland

Back

I Am

" Tom has a gilded life which I have had a glimpse of. Yes, he does travel in private jets. "

" Growing up, I was always enthralled by Ronnie Barker. He made my dad howl with laughter, which always intrigued me, and he had the rare gift of being as good a performer as he was a writer. "

Dominic Holland

Gift

Good

" I like to call myself numerically dyslexic, but officially, I am mathematically thick. "

Dominic Holland

I Am

Myself

" No one likes a pushy parent, and, 'pride' being one of the seven deadly sins, I needed to tread very carefully when creating a show about my eldest son, Tom, better known as Peter Parker and even better known as Marvel's new 'Spider-Man.' "

" All kids should vote - it gives them the opportunity to whinge afterwards because you can't complain if you haven't voted. "

" My Fiat Multipla is bright green - it looks like a frog. I look like a monkey, so between the two of us, we are a hideous prospect. It's the ugliest car on the road but the most practical, and I would live and die by it. "

" It's because finance is so baffling that makes being an economist such a safe option. It nestles down comfortably with psychiatry and astrology as a profession where getting it patently wrong is just not a problem - and also, rather wonderfully, seems to have no adverse affect on their professional standing whatsoever. "

" Stand-up comedy is not for the faint-hearted or the thin-skinned. "

" I am a professional comedian, a published novelist, and a general wit for hire. "

" I might get a break again, and I might get back on telly. If I don't, I'll just keep doing stand-up and doing the best gigs I can. "

" I just talk about the funny things in my life, and the idea is that my observations reflect the lives of my audience - so people are really laughing at themselves. This is the theory, anyway, and I am aware that in print, that it doesn't appear to be very funny. But it is, and I am definitely funny. "

" Doing stand-up is not normal. People fear public speaking above all other things, and I am no different. "

" When I phoned up and said, 'Mum, I'm doing a 52-date national tour with Eddie Izzard,' she said 'That's nice, dear. How are you?' "

" For comics, Edinburgh makes no financial or medical sense. Get an audience; that's the first task. Once the punters are in, simply make them laugh for an hour, and then sweat on the critics. "

" I'm a confident person next to the guy in the street, but if you go into the showbiz world, it seems the guys who are most successful are the most confident, and I don't think I fit into that category. "

" Because it's such a good car, I think we'll have a Multipla till the kids leave home, which is tragic because I could probably afford a really nice car! "

" Making people laugh is the only thing I've ever done naturally. "

" I am the first to admit that I have never been a household name. "

" I even like the Scottish weather because, like everywhere in the U.K., you can't have great beauty without lots of rain. "

Dominic Holland

Beauty

You

" I always think stand-up is the most brutal environment for a comedian. "

" How I've fed my kids over the years is by doing stand-up comedy in clubs. "

" Edinburgh is a world city, visited throughout the year for its beauty and history, but in August, it is the City of Hope. There is something very exciting and romantic about performers of all shapes and sizes, honing their stuff for the biggest arts festival in the world. "

" My job is to make people laugh. If I've upset them instead, then I haven't done my job properly. "

" It is the natural order of things that successive generations will achieve more than their predecessors. "

" I must say that I am rather partial to funny dog videos. "

" When I do a show, I jot little notes for me to remember, and when the show is done and forgotten, I chuck them all over the car. My wife goes nuts. "

" A barrel of laughs should be enough, but it's not. A good review is official and endures. A bad one is like a tub of Flora. It spreads easily and lasts for the whole festival. "