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" Because it's such a good car, I think we'll have a Multipla till the kids leave home, which is tragic because I could probably afford a really nice car! "
Dominic Holland
Car
Good
Home
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" I am not a natural show-off. Some of the monster comedians are terrifyingly assured, and I don't have that, and that's held me back. "
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Me
Back
I Am
" Never trust a television executive. "
Dominic Holland
Trust
Television
Executive
" I don't like false modesty. "
Dominic Holland
False
Like
False Modesty
" I just talk about the funny things in my life, and the idea is that my observations reflect the lives of my audience - so people are really laughing at themselves. This is the theory, anyway, and I am aware that in print, that it doesn't appear to be very funny. But it is, and I am definitely funny. "
Dominic Holland
I Am
My Life
People
" How I've fed my kids over the years is by doing stand-up comedy in clubs. "
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How
Comedy
Doing
" It's because finance is so baffling that makes being an economist such a safe option. It nestles down comfortably with psychiatry and astrology as a profession where getting it patently wrong is just not a problem - and also, rather wonderfully, seems to have no adverse affect on their professional standing whatsoever. "
Dominic Holland
Down
Professional
Finance
" Edinburgh is a world city, visited throughout the year for its beauty and history, but in August, it is the City of Hope. There is something very exciting and romantic about performers of all shapes and sizes, honing their stuff for the biggest arts festival in the world. "
Dominic Holland
City
Romantic
Hope
" I have tried many times to write a TV sitcom - with little success. "
Dominic Holland
Tried
Many
TV
" I am a professional comedian, a published novelist, and a general wit for hire. "
Dominic Holland
General
Wit
Professional
" No one likes a pushy parent, and, 'pride' being one of the seven deadly sins, I needed to tread very carefully when creating a show about my eldest son, Tom, better known as Peter Parker and even better known as Marvel's new 'Spider-Man.' "
Dominic Holland
Son
Better
Creating
" Even though Bandos is one of the biggest islands in the Maldives, it only takes 20 minutes to walk round. All it has are some chalets and a little harbour centre with three restaurants and a bar. The food is magnificent. "
Dominic Holland
Food
Three
Walk
" I must say that I am rather partial to funny dog videos. "
Dominic Holland
Dog
I Am
Funny
" When I was a little boy, I was fascinated by the way my dad used to laugh at the telly, and from a very early age, I had an idea of what was funny and why people laughed. "
Dominic Holland
Early
Age
Boy
" Where I live in south London, it is a very Tory area, so a Labour vote is a wasted vote. My leanings would certainly be not to vote Tory. "
Dominic Holland
Vote
London
Live
" For comics, Edinburgh makes no financial or medical sense. Get an audience; that's the first task. Once the punters are in, simply make them laugh for an hour, and then sweat on the critics. "
Dominic Holland
Task
Financial
Laugh
" A barrel of laughs should be enough, but it's not. A good review is official and endures. A bad one is like a tub of Flora. It spreads easily and lasts for the whole festival. "
Dominic Holland
Tub
Bad
Enough
" Apathy in youth culture is pretty stark. "
Dominic Holland
Youth
Stark
Pretty
" Many years ago, I was a young and, dare I say it, very hot new comedian. Maybe even the hottest of all if the now defunct Perrier panel of judges were to be believed. "
Dominic Holland
Say
Hot
Young
" It is the natural order of things that successive generations will achieve more than their predecessors. "
Dominic Holland
Natural
Will
Achieve
" I was spectacularly average at school, while my two brothers did really well academically. But my dad never said I didn't try hard enough. He knew I did my best. "
Dominic Holland
Best
School
Try
" My story is comic because I've spent vast amounts of effort trying to become a Hollywood screenwriter and made no direct effort on making my son a movie actor. "
Dominic Holland
Story
Trying
Hollywood
" Making people laugh is the only thing I've ever done naturally. "
Dominic Holland
Making
Only
People
" The house I've bought in London, the holidays, everything has been bought from making people laugh, and if you'd said to me when I was 14 that's how I was going to make my living, I would have smiled from ear to ear. "
Dominic Holland
Me
You
People
" I got heckled by a woman, and my riposte fixed upon her unfortunate hair texture, only for her to remove her wig and reveal to the room the horrors of chemotherapy. "
Dominic Holland
Got
Chemotherapy
Woman
" All kids should vote - it gives them the opportunity to whinge afterwards because you can't complain if you haven't voted. "
Dominic Holland
Opportunity
Kids
Complain
" I'm a confident person next to the guy in the street, but if you go into the showbiz world, it seems the guys who are most successful are the most confident, and I don't think I fit into that category. "
Dominic Holland
World
You
Street
" I find it pressurising coming to the Voodoo Rooms to do my hour of comedy. "
Dominic Holland
Find
Coming
Rooms
" When I do a show, I jot little notes for me to remember, and when the show is done and forgotten, I chuck them all over the car. My wife goes nuts. "
Dominic Holland
Nuts
Remember
Wife
" I had a crisis of confidence and ran away from being a standup for a while. "
Dominic Holland
Crisis
Confidence
Being
" When I phoned up and said, 'Mum, I'm doing a 52-date national tour with Eddie Izzard,' she said 'That's nice, dear. How are you?' "
Dominic Holland
She
You
Doing