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" I reject the idea that when young women make choices with which we disagree, they are acting without autonomy. "
Roxane Gay
Acting
Young
Women
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" I think it was really entering my 30s that I began to embrace feminism and call myself a feminist. "
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" I have known beaches, but I have no particular fondness for them. I don't like sand in my crevices. I don't like sand at all. I don't enjoy all that sunshine and heat without the benefit of climate control. "
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Heat
Sand
" We have to believe that we can hold different points of view without labeling each other bad feminists. "
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Different
Believe
View
" I'm sick of hearing, thinking and talking about Woody Allen. Nonetheless, the allegations against him continue to capture our national attention because so much of the story is strange and sordid. "
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Sick
Attention
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" What worries me is that 'post-racial' America is not that different from the Americas that have preceded us, and it might not ever be. "
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Ever
Me
Might
" Love your friends' kids, even if you don't want or like children. Just do it. "
Roxane Gay
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" Internet outrage can seem mindless, but it rarely is. To make that assumption is dismissive. There's something beneath the outrage - an unwillingness to be silent in the face of ignorance, hatred or injustice. Outrage may not always be productive, but it is far better than silence. "
Roxane Gay
Far
Face
Injustice
" When I was a child, my parents took my brothers and me to Port-au-Prince during the summer so we could get to know the country of our ancestors. Because Haiti is an island, the beach is everywhere. Haitians are particular, even snobby, about beaches. "
Roxane Gay
Me
Parents
Summer
" I try to understand faith and religion. I was raised by wonderful Catholic parents who were deeply faithful and taught us that God is a God of love. "
Roxane Gay
Try
Religion
Parents
" You can't control the fact that you are born a white man or born into wealth. When people say, 'Check your privilege,' they're saying, 'Acknowledge how these factors helped you move through life.' They're not saying apologize for it. "
Roxane Gay
Life
Control
Man
" I am totally down with disagreement. I don't like Haterade, but disagreement is wonderful. When someone disagrees, we try to reach common ground. That's good. "
Roxane Gay
Reach
Down
Someone
" A lot of ink is given over to mythologizing female friendships as curious, fragile relationships that are always intensely fraught. Stop reading writing that encourages this mythology. "
Roxane Gay
Relationships
Reading
Curious
" Everyone else thinks I'm a nonfiction writer. I think it's because my nonfiction is easier to find. But I write both in equal measure. I love writing fiction because I can totally lose myself, and I get to make up the rules of the world that I'm writing. "
Roxane Gay
Myself
Love
Think
" There is an odd assumption that compassion and care are finite or that critics can be everything to everyone - commenting on everything simply because they can. That's not what cultural criticism is. "
Roxane Gay
Everyone
Compassion
Criticism
" When advertisers ignore diversity, it is because they don't think the lives of others matter. There is not enough of a financial imperative for those lives to matter. "
Roxane Gay
Diversity
Financial
Ignore
" It's so hard to write about countries like Haiti because there's truths behind the misperceptions people have. But there's so much more. There are multiple truths. "
Roxane Gay
Hard
Like
People
" I keep trying to imagine a universe in which too many public figures declaring themselves feminists would be a bad thing. "
Roxane Gay
Trying
Keep
Bad
" Maybe true love isn't out there for me, but I can sublimate my loneliness with the notion that true love is out there for someone. "
Roxane Gay
Loneliness
Love
Love Is
" People don't want to think... I mean, they don't! They just want to say, 'Oh, okay, feminists are humorless man-haters,' and that's simply not the case. There are radical people and radical ideas in absolutely every movement, but that doesn't mean they define the ideals. "
Roxane Gay
People
Ideas
Okay
" I cut an imposing figure. I am large, and I'm tall, and I have tattoos. I am actually really quiet and shy, but maybe people see me, and they don't want to step out of line, or equate disagreement with stepping out of line with a writer they like. "
Roxane Gay
I Am
Quiet
Shy
" I don't want the whole of my writing or my intellectual energy given over to race because I have diverse interests. "
Roxane Gay
Energy
Intellectual
Writing
" We have cellphones and smartphones and iDevices and laptops and the ability to be perpetually connected. We never have to miss anything, significant or insignificant. "
Roxane Gay
Never
Ability
Anything
" I think the world is ambivalent about feminism. So I can't blame college students. I think they're reflecting the greater culture's attitude toward feminism. So what I can do is, in ways that are appropriate, advocate for feminism and help the students learn what feminism is about. "
Roxane Gay
Blame
Attitude
Think
" I live in Indiana and teach at Purdue University, a wonderful school with some of the brightest students I have ever had the privilege of working with. My colleagues are powerful and intelligent and kind. The cost of living is low, the prairie is wide, and on clear nights, I can see all the stars in the sky above. "
Roxane Gay
Stars
School
Powerful
" In truth, I don't care about making feminism more accessible to anyone. "
Roxane Gay
Truth
Accessible
Feminism
" Something outrageous, in the truest sense of the word, is always happening. On social networks, we're always voicing our reactions to these outrageous events. We read essays and 'think pieces' about these outrageous events. We comment on the commentary. We do this because we can. "
Roxane Gay
Sense
Comment
Always
" Public intellectuals are often put in the position of having their words, no matter how off-the-cuff, treated as doctrine. "
Roxane Gay
Public
Position
Words
" Throughout any given season of 'The Bachelor,' the women exclaim that the experience is like a fairy tale. They suffer the machinations of reality television, pursuing - along with several other women, often inebriated - the promise of happily ever after. "
Roxane Gay
Television
Reality
Women
" If a woman wants to take her husband's name, that's her choice, and I still think she can be feminist while doing that. "
Roxane Gay
Husband
Think
Woman
" It would be easy to assume that the open letter is a symptom of the Internet age. Such is not the case. In 1774, Benjamin Franklin wrote an open letter to the prime minister of Great Britain, Lord North - a satirical call for the imposition of martial law in the colonies. "
Roxane Gay
Easy
Great
Internet