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" Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people. "

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" Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you. "

" No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. "

" I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans. "

" The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more. "

The Hardest Thing

" Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid. "

" Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil. "

" It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth once they inherit it. "

" Nobody ever grew despondent looking for trouble. "

" Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit. "

" Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on. "

" The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. "

" It isn't enough for you to love money - it's also necessary that money should love you. "

" Where ignorance is bliss it's foolish to borrow your neighbor's newspaper. "

" If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. "

" The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them. "

" Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. "

" There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them. "

" It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed. "

" Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it. "

" Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny. "

" If capital and labor ever do get together it's good night for the rest of us. "

" It ain't a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you're talking about. "

" We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate. "

" Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs. "

" The world gets better every day - then worse again in the evening. "

" Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune. "

" Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable. "

" There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it? "

" After a fellow gets famous it doesn't take long for someone to bob up that used to sit by him in school. "

" All the world loves a good loser. "