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" An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh. "

Related Quotes:

" When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds. "

" It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so. "

" Don't let yesterday use up too much of today. "

" It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you. "

" Never let yesterday use up too much of today. "

" I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. "

Political Party

" About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation. "

" Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do. "

" The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you. "

" If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics. "

" Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. "

" Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need. "

" When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur. "

" Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators. "

" Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. "

" Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even. "

" A fool and his money are soon elected. "

" America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there. "

" When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states. "

" There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail. "

" Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln. "

" If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them. "

" Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it. "

" An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's. "

" The best way out of a difficulty is through it. "

" I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies. "

" Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it. "

" Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate? "

" I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do. "

" This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die. "