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" A manager uses a relief pitcher like a six shooter, he fires until it's empty then takes the gun and throws it at the villain. "

Dan Quisenberry

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" I don't mean to diminish the job, it's a good job and a real pressure job. But I don't think a relief pitcher should ever be the most valuable player of a league. We only play in maybe half of the games. Being a relief pitcher means part-time employment. We're bench players, and bench players shouldn't be M.V.P. "

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" I'm probably the only relief pitcher who has more saves than strikeouts. "

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" Reggie Jackson hit one off me that's still burrowing its way to Los Angeles. "

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" Preschoolers have a way of grabbing your attention. Mine help me not to be a baseball player at home. "

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" The future is much like the present, only longer. "

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" The best thing about baseball is there's no homework. "

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" Most pitchers fear losing their fastball, but since I don't have one, I have nothing to fear but fear itself. "

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" Coming into a game in the eighth or ninth inning is like parachuting behind enemy lines. And sometimes the chute doesn't open. You have to live with that. It's an occupational hazard. "

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" If overconfidence can cause the Roman Empire to fall, I ought to be able to get a ground ball. "

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" I have seen the future, and it is much like the present, only longer. "

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" Our fielders have to catch a lot of balls, or at least deflect them to someone who can. "

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" I lull them into a false sense of security by watching me pitch... If overconfidence can cause the Roman Empire to fall, I ought to be able to get a ground ball. "

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" Someone told me just recently that poets are eulogists. It's their job, to eulogize. I didn't know that, but it makes sense. Because in almost every poem of mine there is a loss. "

Dan Quisenberry

" Every year the World Series should go seven games for the dramatics of it. "

Dan Quisenberry