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" It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value. "

Arthur C. Clarke

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" I'll stick to finding the funny in the ordinary because my life is pretty ordinary and so are the lives of my friends - and my friends are hilarious. "

" Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. "

" If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving. "

" If my life wasn't funny, it would just be true, and that's unacceptable. "

" Because death and illness are the most horrible things in life, of course that's where the most absurdly funny things are going to happen. "

" You are not just a funny person or just a journalist. Most people are hybrids of having a smart opinion and a great sense of humor. "

" One man is as good as another until he has written a book. "

Benjamin Jowett

" A lot of people who claim they're political comedians are just comedians who have opinions. But they stop being funny the minute they give their opinions. "

Gilbert Gottfried

" I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. "

" I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing. "

" I don't write material. Funny things happen to me in the course of a day, and I just make notes. "

" When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.' "

" Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts. "

" I don't pretend we have all the answers. But the questions are certainly worth thinking about. "

Arthur C. Clarke

" At the end of the day it's got to be a good movie, it's got to be a funny movie, and it's got to make people think, 'Hey, I couldn't have spent my time any better.' "

" I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. "

" I never thought of myself as like, a funny person. "

" The surprising thing is that I was not funny in high school. I was always jealous of the funny kids because they always got the girls. I couldn't tell a joke to save my life. "

Seann William Scott

" I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. "

Political Party

" I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. "

" We are all born mad. Some remain so. "

" When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say. "

" I get tired of comedies where there are a bunch of funny guys and a beautiful woman who doesn't do anything funny. And I don't like books where there's a rough-and-tumble boy and a really clever, snotty girl. That's just not my experience with teenagers. "

" When I turned about 12 or 13, I realised that being funny wasn't about remembering jokes. It was about creating them. "

" There's only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you differently if you can make them laugh. "

" God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. "

Garrison Keillor

" I used to work at NASA in Virginia. It was nothing glamorous; I was just tasked with making code compile for obscure projects, and I wasn't very good at it. Now I spend most of my time drawing pictures and looking at funny things on the Internet, which in retrospect is largely what I did at my old job, too. "

" What was funny if you were there is that we were all immensely sophisticated people who knew exactly what she was going to say and we're chatting away, nice to see you. "

" Well, I'm not afraid to say something if I think it's funny, even if it's harsh or racist. "

Sarah Silverman

" One man's folly is another man's wife. "