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" I very much enjoyed doing 'Law & Order,' playing a killer - that was fun, and they had a family feel around the set, so it was a happy show to do even though the subject matter was quite the opposite. "

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" I do think there are some great female comics: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph. They're the whole ball of wax. "

Carol Burnett

Great

Whole

Wax

" Originally, I came from Texas, and we lived on - I guess you'd call it welfare, what we called relief. "

" When I was starting out in this business, that was the norm. You did it all. You looked around, and entertainers could dance, sing, play the piano, act, make you laugh. "

" It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington. "

" I really enjoy connecting with the audience. "

" We don't stop going to school when we graduate. "

" I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy. "

" I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh. "

" When I left 'The Garry Moore Show,' I signed a 10-year contract with CBS. "

" I love Maya Rudolph. She's very multitalented herself. "

" You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn't have the protection that a newspaper has. "

" Ask anyone who's successful how they got there, you're going to hear a different story. "

" It's not a bad thing to be able to do many things onstage. If you're an entertainer, you should be able to entertain. I'm proud to say that I'm not a one-trick pony. "

" Jimmy Stewart and Lucille Ball were so unique. "

" I was raised going to the movies with my grandmother as a kid. And then I'd come home, and my best friend and I would act out the films that we saw. "

" What I like to write about is stuff I know. I don't think I could write a novel. I don't think I have it in me to come up with those kinds of characters. "

Carol Burnett

Think

Write

" My favourite comedian, of course, is Tim Conway. He has a way about him - being that belly-laugh kind of funny, and he has the improvisational skills, too. I've never seen anybody better. "

" My childhood was rough, we were poor and my parents were alcoholics, but nobody was mean. I knew I was loved. We were on welfare, but I never felt abandoned or unloved. "

" My favorite is doing the television show, as a variety show, every week. If the show wasn't that great one week, we could always come back and apologize, you know? "

" It all happened the way it was supposed to. I wouldn't change anything. I had such a great run. "

" Comedy is tragedy - plus time. "

" I never felt cynical, and I never felt that I couldn't do what I wanted to do. "

" I had it in my contract with CBS, a very weird clause that was never written before and certainly not since, that if I wanted to do a variety show within the first five years of the contract, CBS would have to put it on for 30 shows. "

" I don't watch sitcoms. I really don't. My problem with them is they take so long to film them that there's no spontaneity. I want to see that. "

" I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these? "

Carol Burnett

False

You

" I love to write. I have always loved writing. That was my first love. "

" Well, I don't know how astute I am, but I did want to be a journalist when I was growing up. "

" I think the reason I was successful is that I was never cynical. "

" It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad that we don't have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team's lawyers. "

" When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go. "